Stand Up and Clap for Her
Jul 05, 2020
I have been thinking a lot about success lately. We all have different definitions of success. The dictionary defines success as the “achievement of an aim or purpose.”
It’s not the definition of success that’s been on my mind. Rather, I’ve been thinking about how I react and how others react when someone else succeeds.
What is your reaction when you see others around you succeeding?
Do you genuinely celebrate her success? Stand and eagerly applaud. Write the card of congratulations. Send the “I’m proud of you” text. Get as excited by her success as if it were your own?
Or do you outwardly celebrate with her, but inwardly teem with jealousy? Why her and not me?
Do you brush it off and make excuses why she was successful and you weren’t?
She had a head start.
She had an unfair advantage.
Of course she could turn her little side hustle into a full-blown business because her husband makes gobs of money, and she has a nanny, and this excuse, and that excuse, and this other excuse, and everything else.
Real talk: I used to only half-celebrate someone else’s success. I’m not proud of it, but it’s true. I was happy for her, for sure. But I was also a little jealous.
I was a hard worker, and I wanted success, too. I wanted it now. Even if it wasn’t my time. Even if I was just starting out. I craved the success and the notoriety. And when it wasn’t my time, I would make excuses inside. Not outwardly, of course. But inside.
Until I realized that I was playing small. Conduct unbecoming. Silly, really.
Because here’s the thing, friends: there is enough success for all of us. Let me say that again. There is enough success for all of us.
There’s a difference between an abundance mindset and a scarcity mindset. Abundance says there is enough to go around. Her success doesn’t take anything away from your success. And vice versa. There is enough success for all of us.
Scarcity says only you or her. Scarcity is motivated by fear: fear that there isn’t enough to go around, that there isn’t enough money, that there aren’t enough opportunities.
In a society that likes to pit women against each other, applauding another’s success is important. Success for one of us is success for all of us. A rising tide lifts all boats. It’s time we put aside the petty jealousies and insecurities. Celebrate her success like it was your own. Applaud her for paving the way and showing you how it’s done. Thank her for leading by example.
Celebrate her success, and she’ll return the favor by clapping for you when it’s your time in the spotlight.
To your success! And hers, too.
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