"Thank You"
Oct 17, 2020
Let's talk about compliments and, in particular, why it's so difficult for women to take a compliment.
In general, most women do not respond well to compliments. They might not be used to receiving them. Or they think they're not worthy of the compliment. Or that the compliment-er is just being nice or has some ulterior motive.
Don't believe me? Ask yourself: how do you respond when someone pays you a compliment?
Say, for example, someone says she likes your sweater. What is your response?
- Oh, this old thing? I've had it forever.
- Ugh. It's too tight. It fit better before I gained some weight, when I was 10 pounds lighter.
- Don't look too closely. There are snags and pills all over it. I really should replace it, but I love the colors and can't bring myself to give it away.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Obviously, your response to a compliment about an article of clothing may not seem like a big deal. But if you respond that way about your clothing, you probably also respond that way when someone is paying you a compliment about your performance at work. Think about how you respond when someone pays you a compliment about something smart you said at a meeting or that presentation you crushed or the stellar leadership you provided to your team working on a new initiative.
Instead, when someone pays you a compliment, take it. Do NOT talk the compliment-er out of the compliment. Do NOT explain why you're not worthy of the compliment. Do NOT try and convince the person paying you the compliment that she or he is wrong.
Someone is saying something nice about you. It is not your job or responsibility to explain why they are wrong about you. To talk them out of it. To challenge them.
Someone is expressing their opinion. It's their opinion; not yours. You're just the lucky recipient of the goodness they are sharing with you. There's no reason for you to tell them that they are wrong. To question their judgment. To discount their opinion.
When someone pays you a compliment, take the compliment graciously. Simply smile and say "thank you." That's it.
No excuses. No arguing with them. No talking them out of the compliment. No anything else.
Just a simple "thank you."
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